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(IN​)​SECURITY

by Convent Bonfires

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1.
(in) 01:55
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From the moment I was born to the day that I die You can find me in the back seat hiding From the what ifs, where I could’ve gone Who I could’ve been and what I could’ve done What I could’ve said will I ever see the sun again The sun again Cause it’s by the grace of God that I am breathing It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing (this is for you, oh I love you, this is for you, oh I love you) It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing
2.
Car Doors Unlocked 03:06
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Smashed my face diving in the water I’ve been runnin through the storm uncovered My shoes broke but we’re moving upwards Mud to my knees yeah life’s unstructured Lost my mind if you’re here we’re together I’m not stoppin for Seattle weather Climb a castle get to know my brother Mud to my knees yeah life’s unstructured I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors Unlocked I would rather someone take a Look inside and see there’s nothin that they want They want, they want I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors Unlocked I would rather someone take a Look inside and see there’s nothin that they want They want I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors I live in the city but I leave my car doors
3.
Same Old Stories 03:42
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Writer’s block has made it’s way into my life again I won’t lie, I’m not ganna pretend I don’t have the words to write I don’t have the slightest sense for story telling Anymore, anymore It seems the same stories again Told before over and over again And I don’t wanna do the same thing No I don’t wanna be the same thing If I spend my life tryin to be different And then I do what they say I’ll be a hypocrite And I’ll be livin and I’ll be livin Tryin to come up with the stories It seems I’m a little short Of heroes, villains and glories Draw a blank when he draws his sword What comes next love to the most fair Tryin to get a word in who even cares Tryin to come up with the stories Who’s life do we base life after What’s success, does it even matter The dragon stood tall with the strength to kill them all The fire in his breath stoked the coals at his chest I almost put that story in the album The hero looses his wits and then he found them But I’ve heard it before In every song, in every sitcom and every movie to be honest it’s getting kind of boring so here I am Tryin to come up with the stories It seems I’m a little short Of heroes, villains and glories Draw a blank when he draws his sword What comes next love to the most fair Tryin to get a word in who even cares Tryin to come up with the stories (stories stories stories) And this is who I am and this is what I’ve done I’m 20 years old but I remember where I’m from I still don’t care about the radio catch me with Kyle playing house shows forgotten, leaven till it’s rotten I’ve got the feelin, got the feelin that I’m falling down I’m falling down I’m falling down Tryin to come up with the stories It seems I’m a little short Of heroes, villains and glories Draw a blank when he draws his sword What comes next love to the most fair Tryin to get a word in who even cares Tryin to come up with the stories (yeah the stories, I donwanna do it I donwanna do it I donwanna come up with the stories)
4.
|BOXES| 02:49
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Hello, good morning, welcome to the world I was brought to life with an ear full of pearls Dream big, you can do it all You can go to space and be a captain in the sea I thought I had a light so I could be brighter But it seems I’m only gettin milder And my thoughts and my ideas didn’t have a fight either I was kind though, I gave me a gift A BOX Bright and shiny on the inside A place that I could call mine My dreams flow as if they’re already made Already made from the medal that surrounds me Fills me with hope that someday I can be a success And maybe even prosperous And I can have a home with a spare bedroom Sounds nice right That’s just the box speaking or I guess it’s me and my voice bouncing off the walls hello, can you hear me, I am leaving but it looks like I’m stuck hello, can you hear me, hello , can you hear me Hello I’ve been here for a long time Waiting on you to come bye Pay a visit to your old life Having a conversation Featuring the go to phrases that escape I know it all too well I know it all too well I’ve been here before I know it all too well I’ve been here before I know it all too well I’ve been here before I know it all, too, well I’m not stuck by anything physical It’s all psychological Cause if I don’t make enough money nothings possible So here I am man, I’m making moves Here I am man, I’m making moves Something that I can’t do is be direct when it’s hard I don’t give honest feedback and I don’t travel far From the surface if I don’t know you or your story Can you meet me half-way Can you tell me if I’m boring I wish I took constructive criticism well But I can’t cause I’m a sensitive guy I’m a sensitive guy I’m a sensitive guy I’m a sensitive guy I’m a sensitive However I’m not exclusive and I don’t respect the hierarchy I’m a big fan of tribe mindset with some anarchy Take a tree to a street light one God made one I made and one you need to see and one you need to breath and I thought I had to choose so now my house is a square my house is a square my house is a square my house is a square my house is a square I’m on my way to the sea of insecurity It’s gonna be great so if you want you can follow me
5.
Fear Pays My Rent 02:18
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All I see, is green green green All I see, is green green green All I see, is green green green Green green green green green green It’s a metaphor for money, to make things nice and clear I stopped lookin forward to the milk and honey and just gave into my fear What do I call this, and what do I have to look forward to anymore Well what do I call this Yeah what do I call this What if my fear if discernment and wisdom given to me What if my fear is just me thinking following my gut What if this fear takes control and consumes me What if this fear is only in it for the money money money If I miss my friends is it ok to feel bad Often times I feel bad for felling bad for feeling bad And it keeps on stacking and stacking till I can’t help but escape So I do (so I do) So I do (so I do) So I do yeah I do I find myself comforted by a screen Rocked gently till I fall asleep Is it the noise, the light, is it the fight that I really don’t wanna fight Cause this horse that I keep on beating just wants it’s peace Just wants it’s peace So I think that I’ll let it sleep And I’ll just write another story and let this one be
6.
security 05:06
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7.
Shame Limbo 04:37
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What’s my depth, have I lost connection I’ll take this silence as a confession I’m too far gone, I’m too far gone That’s ok brother, If you can hear me Be on your way and be swallowed by the sea I’m going down Hello lost souls, tell me the story Because I swear that I’ve seen this before Who are you and where are going Where’s your light can you feel anymore It was in my head, relentlessly screaming Digging my bed, all the while scheming It had been so long since I had even cried Believe me I wanted to, but it seems the river That once gave me life had apathetically Dried out inside, dried out inside heart stopped dead, but I kept on breathing No beat in my chest but my blood kept me bleeding Its not that I mad that shame took away my feeling Here I am, I’m done Hello lost souls, tell me the story Because I swear that I’ve seen this before Who are you and where are going Where’s your light can you feel anymore Your eyes lack depth and your gut lacks discretion Your empty smile says you lost your expression Oh shame’s made it’s way to your heart Long nights, I can’t, see past, my legs I don’t know Where I’m, going, but I’m, running, Running home Long nights, I can’t, see past, my legs I don’t know Where I’m, going, but I’m, running, Running home Hello lost souls, tell me the story Because I swear that I’ve seen this before Who are you and where are going Where’s your light can you feel anymore Your eyes lack depth and your gut lacks discretion Your empty smile says you lost your expression Oh shame’s made it’s way to your heart Hello lost souls, tell me the story Because I swear that I’ve seen this before Who are you and where are going Where’s your light can you feel anymore Your eyes lack depth and your gut lacks discretion Your empty smile says you lost your expression Oh shame’s made it’s way to your heart
8.
123 01:23
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9.
Reflection 03:21
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Speaking truthfully I haven’t been the most honest with you How hard I’ve been fighting Is it harmful if I said I’m shameful of you I’m afraid you’ve gone rotten I don’t recognize you anymore I don’t want to fight you anymore Cause one of us always ends up hurt and it’s usually me I don’t wanna hide When did we start our war and why has it gone this far Soon the cycle will go over I’ll be where you are You let it grow, you let it grow, you let it grow I don’t recognize you anymore I don’t want to fight you anymore Cause one of us always ends up hurt and it’s usually me I don’t wanna hide I don’t recognize you anymore [It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing, that I am alive] I don’t want to fight you anymore [It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing, that I am alive] Cause one of us always ends up hurt and it’s usually me [It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing, that I am alive] I don’t wanna hide [It’s by the grace of God that I am breathing, that I am alive]
10.
Sleeping 04:19
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I’ve fallen asleep love turn to the deep of my slumbered heart Occupy my open soul with your holy burning fire I ran away when you called me by name Still you call me After every single hideous mistake Still you call me I’ll follow your twists and your turns But what of these scars and these burns What of this broken heart oh love I swear I never learn Will you be with me in the fire Will you be with me in the storm Will you be with me when my heart breaks Cause my heart breaks just like I’ve fallen asleep love turn to the deep of my slumbered heart Occupy my open soul with your holy burning fire I made mistakes Hideous mistakes But still you call e I ran away when you called me by name But still you call me I’ll follow your twists and your turns But what of these scars and these burns What of this broken heart oh love I swear I never learn Will you be with me in the fire Will you be with me in the storm Will you be with me when my heart breaks Cause my heart breaks just like Oh love I don’t know where I'm going Call out and ill run to your voice Take this blindness make me see Take my ignorance make me think   Oh love I don’t know where I'm going Call out and I’ll run to your voice Take this blindness make me see Take my ignorance make me think I’ll follow your twists and your turns See you through these scars and these burns Life is deeper than this blood and skin You make me feel again You’re here with me in the fire You’re here with me in the storm You’re here with me when my heart breaks Cause my heart breaks just like Yours
11.
I Believe 03:19
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I have $17.23 in my bank account And I got a quarter tank of gas hoping this rice and beans will last Till the week runs out I got it good baby I got it good baby Yeah don’t you worry I got all I need yeah I got it good baby Oh yeah I’m rich baby Yeah don’t you worry I got all I need I’ve been heard and I’ve been seen I believe oh I believe I’ve been heard and I’ve been seen I believe oh I believe Five months seven days past the expiration date On my Texas tabs And I want to take my girl out hoping she’s down to stare at clouds Till the sun goes down I got it good baby I got it good baby Yeah don’t you worry I got all I need yeah I got it good baby Oh yeah I’m rich baby Yeah don’t you worry I got all I need I have my friend and family around Never felt so loved My mom and dad support my dreams I got my friends and they got me Never felt so alive   (I’ve been heard and I’ve been seen I believe oh I believe I’ve been heard and I’ve been seen I believe oh I believe) (I got it good baby I got it good baby Yeah don’t you worry I got all I need yeah I got it good baby Oh yeah I’m rich baby Yeah don’t you worry I got all I need) I’ve been heard and I’ve been seen I believe oh I believe I’ve been heard and I’ve been seen I believe oh I believe
12.
Road Trip 03:31
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Got a few months of road behind me No one place has been able to define me And I still got an accent talkin’ to my family (talkin’ to my family) My bearings went bad in Mississippi Outside Arby’s lookin’ like a hippi No shoes and a broke down car A backpack and two guitars My car still shakes when I hit 30 The Texas conman did me dirty But that’s ok yeah that’s alright I’m still kickin’ I’m still alive We struck oil in the heart of Missoula Red russel stop told me I need a tune up He knows what it’s like He’s been in the same situation twice An hour and a bottle of kombucha later Nobodies stressin’ about spendin’ paper Cause thanks to Olivia We got a free place to stay tonight My car still shakes when I hit 30 Then Texas come and did me dirty But that’s ok yeah that’s alright I’m still kickin’ I’m still alive Life is cool and I got some dope people but I still get in my head, still get in my head keep the music playin’ make it hard or make it simple be modest when you tread, modest when you tread Repead 4x Instrumental Life is cool and I got some dope people but I still get in my head, still get in my head keep the music playin’ make it hard or make it simple be modest when you tread, modest when you tread

credits

released January 17, 2020

Vocals - Caleb Jones
Gang Vocals - Caleb Jones, Cade Legat, Kyle Petersen
Acoustic Guitar - Caleb Jones, Kyle Petersen
Electric Guitar - Kyle Petersen
Mandolin - Kyle Petersen
Piano - Kyle Petersen
Banjo - Kyle Petersen
Bass Guitar - Kyle Petersen, Colton Rothaus
Drums - Cade Legat
Synth - Cade Legat, Kyle Petersen, Caleb Jones

Producer - Cade Legat

Album Art - John Maggiora

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Convent Bonfires Seattle, Washington

We made this for us, and also for you. love you,
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